We Are Each Other

Dating & relationship advice from Kate and Jason.

5 Truths About Long Distance Relationships that You Should Not Ignore

Hi guys!

There was a time early on in our relationship when Kate had to leave for a rather long internship in the mainland.  That left me here in sunny Hawaii, with a disposition that was very much less than sunny.  That went on the duration of her month long training because I did not have the means to fly over and visit her every now and then.  I must admit that neither of us handled the separation very well, though the strength of our love allowed us to ultimately survive it.

Long distance relationships are not for everyone. It takes a lot, and can give very little. It shares very little in common with regular relationships, and is likely to have more downs than ups. It takes patience, effort, hard work, initiative, creativity, imagination, and tons and tons of loyalty and trust.

And that’s just the beginning. On a regular basis, a long distance love affair probably has more challenges and tests than it has rewards. It’s like a roller coaster ride of emotions; like being put to the test every single day, and you always have to make that pull just so you could close the distance. It is for the brave, for the strong-willed, and for the believer. Try these tips on turning into an alpha male to make her stay forever!

If you’re starting a long distance relationship, or your relationship is headed in that direction, or just plainly curious about how it works, let me share with you 5 things that I’ve learned to be inevitable truths about long distance relationships.

5 Truths about Long Distance Relationships

It can get expensive. Those two-day mini-vacations, the anniversary gifts, the data plan, the long-distance calls for when you don’t have internet – these are the things that can burn a hole in your pocket when you’re trying to keep a long distance relationship. You have to prepare for these things; you have to plan for them and save up for them. Your relationship won’t thrive on texts alone; you have to plan to spend real time together no matter how short or simple it is. You have to give your girlfriend from across the world or across the country enough to hold on to so she keeps hoping and believing in the relationship no matter how far apart you are. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure can buy you plane tickets to see her. Save up for these.

You cannot do it just by yourselves. You will need people to help you make it through. You and your girlfriend both need to surround yourselves with people who believe in you and who believe in the dignity and power of true love that perseveres beyond distance and beyond challenges. You both need people who will encourage you to go on and not push you towards giving up and finding another, far easier relationship situation. You don’t need many; you just need real and believing ones.

You have to have plans for the future. Hope is the second most important thing in a long distance relationship. You need to instill hope in each other; that things will get better someday. Your relationship can only endure for so long, and in that trying time, it’s the promise of better circumstances that will see you both through. Make future plans.

There will be temptation for both of you. There is twice the temptation in a long distance relationship compared to regular relationships. And it could visit both of you. It is important to keep each other reminded of the love and commitment you have for each other and make efforts to keep your relationship cheat-proof.  You must make very concious efforts to avoid the temptation of going for temporary backup [9] relationships.

You have to be clingy. While ‘clingy’ sounds like a negative thing in a relationship, it is an important part of a successful long distance relationship. The thing that kills most of these relationships is not giving in to temptation or giving up against all of its challenges. It’s growing up apart and letting it happen. Don’t let each other become different persons without you in it; be there for each other even if it means being clingy and dependent. You have to make the most out of every opportunity to be together, even if it’s just on the phone or on a photo on Snapchat.

PS: Also see Terms of Endearment to Trash Before 2014 now! Thanks

Do you want to know the secrets to the longevity of our relationship?  Buy our book: “We Are Each Other: The Kate & Jason’s Guide To Everlasting Love”; go here: http://weareeachother.com/now-available-we-are-each-other-volume-1/

Posted on 20th June 2012 in Relationships  •  Comments are off for this post

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