We Are Each Other

Dating & relationship advice from Kate and Jason.
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Naggers Not Welcome!

Hello beautiful people!

I was having coffee at a resto with my old friend Harry after a sumptuous Hawaiian dinner when our conversation veered towards nagging.  He was actually asking me to try to intercede because he feels that his girlfriend Beth nags a little too much.  To say our conversation turned very lively is an understatement.  I think that by the time we finished a couple of cups he had calmed down sufficiently for me to be able to suggest a few things they can try to remedy their situation.  I know and love both of them and feel that all they lack is effective communication.  I am confident they’ll be able to sort out their problem. But he was shocked when I first asked him to consider that maybe; just maybe, he may also be nagging at her!

How can you, macho man, tell if you are starting to nag?  Read on to find out.

More men complain about women being nags than it is the other way around. Women nag about everything – from the most trivial things to the most nerve-wracking issues and men complain about it so much that some of them have blamed relationship failure to her constant nagging. After all, that’s what the society is wired to believe: that women nag and men don’t.
But what if it was the other way around? What if you are becoming the nagger that you’ve always hated?

Experts agree that one common trait among naggers, like other types of people with bad behaviors, [8] are hardly aware that they are indeed nags. The thing that makes men actually ask themselves if they are nags is when their women actually say it to their face.

Signs that you’re a nagger

So, are you really becoming a nagger? Here are some telling signs:

If you have to ask more than three times for something. The impulse to repeat a request is normal when the request is not met. However, if you have to do it again and again and again in a tone that gets bossier at each request, you’re becoming a nagger. As annoying as it is when our requests are met with nothing more than a verbal affirmation without any action, it is also annoying for your girlfriend to hear it again and again and again in that bossy tone. Of course, you can learn how to attract women (like what we have shared in this guide), but nothing can help you if you’re a nagging dick. :)

If you raise your voice constantly. Raising your voice does not make your point any better; neither does it make your girlfriend feel better about anything you happen to be discussing. Raising your voice is not a healthy way of communicating. ‘Venting out’ all of your negative energies may make you feel better for an instant, but it does not solve anything. On the contrary, it makes your girlfriend feel slighted and offended, and makes her act defensively. And if you do this constantly over every little thing that pisses you off, you may actually have a nagging problem.

If you are always criticizing your girlfriend. The thing about a loving relationship is that you can always be yourself without fear of judgment or destructive criticism. But nags don’t give their partners that kind of security. Naggers tend to overly criticize their partners and their partners’ behavior too often. If you find yourself always looking for your girlfriend’s faults and telling her about it out loud with the “loving” intention to correct her, there’s something wrong with you.   You may actually be nagging!

If you play the blame game once too often. Another common trait that nags have is that they love pointing fingers at the other person in the relationship. They are notorious at using the ‘you’ sentences, where everything that comes out of their mouths is ‘you’ + partner’s fault. The nagger hardly finds himself at fault and everything that goes wrong is the fault of his partner.

So, are you a nagger?

Get more tips on how to keep your relationship alive and well.  Buy our book: “We Are Each Other: The Kate & Jason’s Guide To Everlasting Love”; go here: http://weareeachother.com/now-available-we-are-each-other-volume-1/

Posted on 1st October 2012 in Relationships  •  Comments are off for this post

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