We Are Each Other

Dating & relationship advice from Kate and Jason.
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Bad First Date? Remedy Is Here…

Greetings Everyone! After my first blog post, I just want to help everybody who asked me, “What could happen after a bad first date?”  Well, read on to the end and try your best to earn a second chance!

I was not born great at dating; I don’t think anybody is!  I have horrible memories of some of my first few attempts at dating back in high school, and even in my freshman year at the University of Wisconsin – Madison.  One of these disasters I remember clearly to this day.  I went out with Cathy, one of the hottest freshmen at the time.  We were at dinner when she mentioned that she loved having dates at that place because her ex worked there – she was using me, and other males as well, to spite her ex!  I never did ask her out again after that.

What do you do after a bad first date? Run away? Change address and hide forever? Move on and get a new date with someone else? Sure, that’s what most men would do. But would you ever consider trying to get a second date?

It sounds ridiculous, of course. After all, no one would be crazy enough to give himself a second dose of rejection, let alone humiliation. That’s ego suicide!

But then again, why not? Everyone deserves a second chance at everything so why should you not give it a second try? Use this chance to give her a better second impression – something that’s good enough to make her forget the bad first impression you gave her. And besides, you may never meet a girl as special as she is. Just think about all the possibilities if you make it past the second date successfully!

Don’t waste your second chance!

Sure there are tons of things to get worried about. You may have failed so horribly on the first one that she might actually think of you as a joke. You may have failed so horribly she might not even answer your call! But then again, it might not have been that bad at all and maybe your fears are just making it seem so horrible.

Convinced about getting a second try? Great! Read this SIBG.com blog post on flirting or this article from Evan Marckatz. Okay! Be ready, here’s what you can do:

Plan an interesting invite. If you’ve botched the first dinner date, don’t expect her to still want to go out to dinner with you. In fact, don’t try to invite her to do anything that’s practically the same thing you did on the first date. It won’t be interesting and it would bring back bad first date memories. If you want to make a new impression, try out something new. Try something that she cannot say ‘no’ to, like a concert, a house party, or something that would strike her fancy. (Hopefully, you’ve talked and listened well enough on your first date to know her interests).

Don’t go for the call – she might just not answer it. Go for a text – it’s much safer plus you’re likely to let her in on your second date plans. You could tell her your plans even before she could say no, or even before your own fear and awkwardness takes you over. Carefully plan how and what to say to convince her to give it a second try;   use an emoticon or two to keep things light and easygoing.

Speak of easygoing; don’t make a big fuss of things. One, don’t call the ‘second date’ a ‘date’ – it will make her defensive and remind her about the first one. Second, don’t talk about the first date; don’t even mention it if possible (unless you did something that requires an apology). Don’t be too pushy either. She will think you’re desperately trying to get her to like you even after your horrible first date. That might be your intention but you can always be subtle about it!

Make sure you’d be your best self ever. Not everyone gets a second chance especially at dating so go ahead and make the most out of this. This might be your one big date and she might be the love of your life. Be your best self while at it baby!

For additional information and questions, email me at info@weareeachother.com.

For more relationships tips buy our book: “We Are Each Other: The Kate & Jason’s Guide To Everlasting Love”; go here: http://weareeachother.com/now-available-we-are-each-other-volume-1/

Posted on 2nd October 2013 in Dating, Dating Tips, Love, Relationships  •  Comments are off for this post

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