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Dating & relationship advice from Kate and Jason.

She Said NO!? Wut?


Here is a blog post with tips and advice. Hope you will like this one also like my previous blog post. Thanks!

Do you know that it took some time before Kate and I decided to move in together?  When I asked her later what made her wait so long, she simply said she wanted to be sure first.  I can’t disagree because I hesitated too.  The ghost of past failed relationships hounded both of us, but you know what?  The wait helped our relationship become much stronger.  We only moved in when we were emotionally ready.  So if your girlfriend will not move in with you yet, find out why and make the necessary adjustments before asking her again.

In this day and age, there is really nothing surprising about unmarried couples moving in together. In fact, it’s actually become quite the norm. More couples choose to live together because (1) it is more cost-efficient to just share the rent and not have to pay for travel expenses just to be together, (2) to actually spend more time together, and (3) to do away with having to deal with roomies who barge in at ‘inappropriate’ times. (for context, see this interesting article)

Why She Won’t Move in?

That makes it is surprising if your girlfriend refuses to make the big move with you. If that happens, here are some possible reasons why she won’t play house with you (yet?):

1. You have not been together long enough. Well, I wouldn’t get on a weekend getaway with you either if we’ve only been a couple for a weeks. If your relationship is pretty young, it’s only natural for her to want to get to know you more before she makes a life changing decision. Moving out after a breakup is a hassle that she can avoid if she takes a little bit more time dating you before moving in. And now, click here for a guide from on conversations with women.

2. She is not that secure in the relationship yet. Just because you’ve been together for a long time does not necessarily mean your relationship is stable or secure enough emotionally. If this is the case, you may have to make some relationship adjustments to give her the feeling of security she needs to consider sharing life and home with you.

3. She is scared of having to shoulder all the costs. This is possible if you are currently jobless or if you earn less than she does.  Living in together means twice the consumption of electricity, water, and food; it could also mean moving in to a much bigger space with a bigger rent. And if you don’t yet have the job to finance half of those expenses, you may have to wait a bit before asking her to move in.

4. She does not believe in living together before marriage. Ah, then she must be one of the few remaining conservative women in the world. They believe in the traditional ways of courtship – dating, getting serious, getting engaged, getting married, and then living in together. It could be religion, it could be upbringing, or it could also be her personal choice. Whatever it is, you’ll have to live with it or leave it. (Or maybe try to sway her out of it, but don’t get your hopes up mate!)

5. She is not ready to lose her single woman privileges. Even in relationships, we all love a little independence. And for some women, it’s having to come home to her own house, decorated in the way she wants it to be decorated, and not having to deal with someone else and someone else’s mess and life. Maybe she’s enjoying her individuality a little too much.

So, which reason do you think is stopping your girl?

Learn how to make your relationship stable and secure.  Buy our book: “We Are Each Other: The Kate & Jason’s Guide To Everlasting Love”; go here:

Posted on 9th December 2013 in Relationships  •  Comments are off for this post

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