Dating Tips for the Old Player
During my college years in the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I had never been known as a player. Despite all my good intentions, however, many of the relationships I got into were short-lived; they mostly ended because of incompatibility. Still the effects of those old relationships haunted me when I met Kate. It held me back from committing too early for fear of a painful breakup. It kept Kate from easily believing I was not a player, that those relationships ended naturally, and that I was not comparing some aspect of her to an old flame’s. Imagine how hard it would be for a real lothario to “change stripes,” to be an ideal, committed and loyal boyfriend. Hard as it is, still it cannot be denied that there are ways. This post outlines some of them.
They say players never stop playing until they find someone who can make them; you know, like Ryan Gosling’s character on the movie ‘Crazy, Stupid, Love’. He was every bit of a player and wasn’t even planning to stop until he met Emma Stone’s character, ‘Hannah’ who turned everything upside down for him. And that was the beginning of his path to loyalty and commitment.
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The movie didn’t pretty much elaborate on just how challenging it was to change from being Mr I-Date-Every-Girl-Around to Mr Committed, until he had to meet Steve Carell’s character ‘Cal’. It was ‘Cal’ who had to slap him in the face with everything about his serial player past that would stop him from being the good boyfriend he’s trying to be. And that didn’t really say much about the challenges of trying to transition from being a known and notorious playboy to becoming a serious boyfriend, what with all the stigma and the hordes of other women you’ve dated.
So here’s SIBG pickup strategies (a must read!), just to ease a tiny bit of your burden. Should you be one of these men making this big step towards loyalty, here are some dating tips for you:
Avoid going to your old hangouts. Not only to avoid being seen by your old girlfriends and old player buddies, by avoiding all hangouts you also avoid the temptation to go back to your old lifestyle. Take this as a literal and figurative way to effect a change in scenery to force a change in lifestyle.
Don’t use your old player moves on your new girl. This is especially essential if she is aware of your cheater past. Don’t use your old sweet talking moves, be a different, more natural, less scheming person, when you’re thinking about how to treat her. That is, if you want her to treat you differently and if you want her to take you seriously as a suitor, and not as a player.
Try out things that you never did in your old flings and flirtationships. So you never believed in waiting for the right time to take things to the bedroom? Or everything started with one-night-stands? You never believed at all in having your best friends meet your girl? Why not change all that this time around? Maybe, just maybe, all the serious boyfriend moves will bear fruit!
Don’t hide anything about your past. The thing that ruins most things for men in your situation is when they try to hide their not so loyal past. Be honest about everything but don’t brag about past conquests. It is to your advantage that she learns everything there is to know from you instead of hearing stories – mostly laced with fabrication – from someone else. Come clean early on and show her that you’re a changed man. I don’t mean talking about your exes randomly, but really, coming out clean would be to your every advantage. She might feel some repulsion towards you but somehow, she’d likely end up appreciating your honesty.
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It’s a hard life to run away from, but it might just be well worth it. She might just be well worth it. Good luck!
Do you want to learn more about love, relationships and commitment? Buy our book: “We Are Each Other: The Kate & Jason’s Guide To Everlasting Love”; go here: http://weareeachother.com/now-available-we-are-each-other-volume-1/